A Dimwit Squad Christmas
by lavigneforever
Summary: Twas the night before chrismas poem, with a hilarious Carmilla twist.


DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE ORIGINAL POEM OF TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. NEITHER DO I OWN CARMILLA. OK ENJOY.

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Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, Carmilla was distracted by trying to brutally kill a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and currently Kirsch was fussing about Danny's hair. The rest of Silas was snuggled up in their beds, with visions of Lofi the fish god dancing and terrorizing in their heads. With Perry in her 'kerchief, and Laf in their hat, they both settled down after trying to deal with Carmilla the large cat. When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, it seemed JP had finally finished his christmas expiriment on blood splatter. Away to the window Laura flew like a flash, she tore open the windows and tried to give an incoming Madi a slash. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, Madi did her best to try and pull poor Laura out of the window. When what to Carmilla's eyes did appear, but a miniture sleigh with eight delicious looking rein-deer. With a little old driver so lively and quick, the dimwit squad had gone through so much they didn't give a lick if it was certainly St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, that's when the gang heard Kirsch behind them say "LAME." "Now Dasher, now Dancer! Now prancer and Vixen!" as Carmilla drooled it seemed obvious she had a rein deer eating addiction. "On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!" Laf wasn't paying attention for they were daydreaming about them and Perry a'kissen. To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, Madi finally noticed that Danny really was very tall. As leaves that before the wild hurricaine fly, Carmilla watched as the rein-deer left, to which she started to cry. So up to the housetop the coursers they flew, that's when Perry noticed that JP came in from the winter weather and he sure looked blue. With the sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too, and then in a twinkling Laura heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. Kirsch was no help in being quiet since he was acting like a goof. As Laura drew in her head and was turning around, down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound. Carmilla looked like she was about to kill poor st nick without a sound. His clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot, and once in Perry's life she didn't want to clean his clothes for she was kaput. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, Madi could wait to tell the poor man that he should turn back. He looked like a pedler, just opening his pack, Laura wasn't watching because she couldn't stop staring at Carmilla's great rack. His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! But not evern poor Saint Nicholas couldn't create LaFerry. His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry, but for Madi the fat man just looked quite contrary. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and Danny had the sudden urge to push poor St. Nick out the window. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth only made Carm roll her eyes and say "god what a creep"-

"Ok Carmilla will you stop ruining the poem please?!" Laura begged as the gang sat in a circle.

It was December 24 and Laura decided to make the dimwit squad do a poetry circle. The gang all contributed to the original Christmas poem and it didn't really sound as sweet as Laura was hoping. It actually turned out quite dark.

"Well thanks for humoring me guys." Laura deadpanned.

"Oh stop it, you know we're just exhausted and want to sleep right?" Carmilla explained to Laura who was now pouting.

Carm saw no hope in trying to make Laura feel better, so she returned to playing with the mouse she had caught.

"Ugh, Carm, leave the poor creature alone!" Laura pleaded to her girlfriend.

"One less rodent in this filth house." Carmilla muttered to herself as she sat next to Laura on the couch of the dean's apartment.

"this filth house, use to be your mother's you know."

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"Hey, cheer up Dr. Broody, we're going on vacation for Christmas!" Laura said as she wrapped her arm around Carm.

Carmilla raised her eyebrow.

"really? A vaction as in, just you and me, or a vacation with the dimwit squad?"

Laura made a face that answered Carmilla's question.

"Laura-"

"PLEEAASEEE?"

Carmilla laughed at Laura's begging.

"I don't think so."

"I bought us the private suit so we won't be distured when we...stargaze..."

Carmilla looked at Laura, who was currently making her infamous seducing glare.

"I'm in."

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It's not christmas i know, but i was really wanting to do this! Read and Review plzzz Thanks! WEEEEEE!


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